Early early morning rambling
The world is such a different place at 2 in the morning. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's lonely. I guess it depends on the circumstances of why you would be up at this ridiculous hour.I outgrew the bar scene shortly after my 18th birthday. I almost make it a point not to be out on a weekend night...or morning...and try to avoid the drunks on their way to Denny's. People get stupid at 2am on a Saturday. But in the middle of the week......Wednesday night for instance.... it's peaceful. And quiet. Most people are snuggled up in bed unaware of the world around them while their alarm clocks count down the minutes. Hardly anyone is driving out on the roads, regardless of the weather. Phones aren't ringing with telemarketers promising the "free" trip to the Caribbean. It's a time of day when you wouldn't feel bad if you curled up with a warm blanket, a good book, and a cup of tea.
The downside of this time of day, however, is the fact that it's 2 freaking o'clock in the morning! There is no sunshine. Nothing is open. Nothing is on TV. There are a lot of drunk people on the roads. Most people are sleeping, which usually means that you should be too. So what are you doing awake? Probably tossing and turning with your warm blanket (which may be too warm depending on the time of year), still reading your book that you can't put down, while your mind is churning with thoughts of caffeine from that dam tea.
I find myself in this dilemma quite often. Usually it happens when I am preparing to work my night shifts....like tonight. Sometimes it happens when I am working my day shifts. It's not nice. I can't go to bed when I feel tired, instead I have to keep myself awake. Then when every fibre in my body wants to stay awake, I have to force myself to fall asleep. Stupid. But then I remember that for some strange reason, I like working my night shifts. It screws up my body and mind, but I like nights.
I'm strange, I know. What sort of nurse likes working nights? It's NOT less busy than a day shift. Babies don't care what time of day it is. In fact I'm more likely to miss a break while on nights rather than on days. But there isn't as many people around. Of course that also means less staff working. The atmosphere is different, I guess. Less politics. Less confusion. Everyone knows what's happening, and everyone pulls together when needed.
But lately I've been having problems adjusting to my days as much as my nights. The first night on a stretch is always the hardest, but you get yourself into some sort of rhythm. I can't seem to get that done for day shifts, though. I've tried pretty much anything and everything. I've even tried PRi's aromatherapy sleepy-time bubble bath that I got her. I'd rather shower, but in the interest of trying to fall asleep, I've gotten into the bathtub. Tonight, I am going to try something new. I bought a melatonin supplement, and after careful consideration, I'm going to give it a try. I'll let you know how it works when I'm done my 5 nights.
In the meantime, it's time for tea.