Sometimes a cigar....
I've been dreaming a lot lately, which I have learned to realize can be either a good or bad thing. Good in the sense that I am actually getting some sleep, more than the annoyingly predictable 6 hours spent tossing and turning. Bad in the sense that my subconsious is working overtime to process an assortment of thoughts, information, and emotions, and then turning its results into random elements of my dreams.I am one of those people who remembers a lot of dreams. And in great detail. There have been many a time when I stumble out of bed to my bookshelf and PRi asks "what did you dream this time" even before I reach for my dream interpretation books. Those books are hilarious. Apparently the other day I was "going against my better judgement" on a decision of some sort. I didn't even know I was making a decision other than what to have for dinner that day. Maybe the leftovers wasn't a good idea?
But with the arrival of some much needed sleep came dreams out of my subconsious mind about things I thought were resolved. Like a fool, I didn't see the obvious, not at least until I recounted said dreams. Hearing someone else's opinion and thoughts on your mind's raw imagination can be an eye-opener. I know some people think that dreams really have no meaning, and for the most part, I agree. But there are times where I believe dreams have the ability to let you know what is going on deep down in your soul. I think this was one of those times. It seems as if an inner conflict that I thought had been taken care of still battled somewhere deep in my mind and heart. It's confusing. And complicated. But it's there.
So what am I going to do? I don't know. I'm not seeking advice or reassurance. I'm not even sure if I should be taking all of this seriously. All I know is that whatever it is, it has left me feeling disappointed in myself. An odd feeling for just a dream. I can't explain it. I also can't ignore it.