I haven't forgotten...I've just been reinspired
It's been a long time since I last visited here. Not that there hasn't been much to update, but I honestly haven't thought about this blog in months. I could have just let my thoughts, feelings, and experiences that I've put on here gather virtual dust and cobwebs. All to easy to do, and not what I intended.
I went to a bookstore the other day, looking for the next paperback of a series I've gotten into. I didn't find what I was looking for, but as I perused through a shelf of the store manager's picks of the month, my attention was grabbed by an innocent looking memoir. So I bought it.
I had originally thought I would read this memoir during my stint of nights. It's been two days and I finished the darn thing. The cover of the book may have caught my eye, but the story captured my attention and imagination. It was about a woman who dreamed of living in Paris, and after achieving this dream, she started a blog about her life as an "outsider" in the City of Lights. The more she wrote, the more she lived. Her blog was titled
Petite Anglaise, which
I have no idea if it truly exists, but I'm curious to find out.
While I was reading, I thought more and more about my long-forgotten blog. It was strange reading someone else's views on why they started their own blog, and how similar and different those reasons were to mine. Granted, when I first started writing, I shared my mundane and boring life with complete strangers who happened upon this site, but my intentions were to update people in my life who were living far away from me. As time went on, more convenient means of updating came about...mostly through Facebook....and my blog writing became more and more sparse. My posts were random, a reflection of my thoughts at the time. Many more posts were written and deleted before they were published simply for the fact that I needed an outlet to vent some particular reaction or feeling, but didn't necessarily want to share.
But in the end, I realize that this blog, however it started and what my intentions were at the time, is really for me. I can choose to use it to update on my life. I can choose to vent then delete. Or rant and publish. Nevertheless, it's still here. I may not have a large following of readers like
Petite Anglaise, and I may not have the eloquent and captivating stories or anecdotes, but I'm still here. I'm still writing.
I refuse to stop writing
Ok, so maybe I'm not the best at keeping up with this thing. I periodically look at it and try to think of something witty to write about, and come up blank. So then it gets forgotten for a while until I happen across it again. And again no wit.
I find myself awake once more in the middle of the night...where I do a lot of puttering online, and decide it's time to buckle down and write, despite the lack of wittiness. So here I am.
Really I've been the same. Lots of work. Lots of travelling. Lots more work to pay for the travelling. I'm getting really bad at keeping my impulsive vacationing at bay. Well, I had to try out my new luggage....I have no regrets, though. Well, one regret, but that's an entirely different story and has nothing to do with vacations.....
So yeah. I spent Christmas in Winnipeg this year with my family. It was good to see everyone again...I hadn't seen them in years. I am hoping to be able to get back there soon to spend some time with my grandma. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year, and though I am scared and sad, I want to see her again before she has no clue who I am. It doesn't help that I'm so far away. While I was in university, I worked with a lot of people with Alzheimer's, and saw the struggle their families went through. At least the ones that visited. I never really appreciated what I had until I was faced with this situation. It's been a very humble experience for sure.
Otherwise I'm doing alright. It's been a long, exhausting, and frustrating few months. I wish I could say I'm doing great, but I'm not. Just sort of getting by and working through some issues. Some have resolved, and others haven't, but I'm trying not to get all worked up about it. Hence my vacationing. Maybe I should start writing more here.....vent some frustrations and stuff. Witty or not, it might be a release to keep writing.....
A moment
I woke up this morning to a very quiet world. No noises in my place, not even from the neighbours upstairs. I crept out of bed thinking I overslept, not realizing the actual time of my wandering through the apartment. I'm hungry. I get to the kitchen and open my fridge, looking for some fruit, or maybe some juice. I'm craving juice. I pour myself a glass and turn on the tv. Maybe there's something on, I don't know. Nope. Why would that be? Hmm....
I glance over at the window, thinking the orange street lamp seemed unusually.....bright. And orange. I peer out my window. Everything is quiet. No cars, no people. I suppose I wouldn't drive either during the first snowfall of the season. It sure is peaceful this time of day. So much so, that I contemplate returning to bed.
I am thankful that I can wake up to this peacefulness. That others fought with their lives to defend that right. I remember. And I thank you.
Random thoughts at midnight
- I know it's the beginning of November, but I can't wait to put up my Christmas tree. I'm not even going to be home this year for Christmas, but dammit, my tree is going up!
- When making a budget, is there a percentage of your earnings that is supposed to go to debt repayment? How about vacation funds?
- My hot chocolate needs Bailey's..........mmm, that's better.
- My new family doctor practices out of a clinic across the street from work. Convenient for me, but will I be assessed by students or residents who will potentially see me at work? I think my thyroid needs checking. In fact, a lot of me needs checking.
- I haven't gotten my flu shot yet. What are the chances of this being the year of the influenza epidemic? Do I still have to listen to the administration's attempts at preparing for said epidemic during my education day in January?
- A while ago I had an urge to take a course in Italian. I now realize I just want to learn Italian without the homework and exams. Una bottiglia di vino rosso per favore.
- I think I put too much Bailey's in my hot chocolate. Oh well.
Here I am!
I seemed to have taken a leave of absence from my blog. I could come up with a variety of excuses, but they all would boil down to the same thing.... I'm busy.
Or I'm lazy. That could also be the case I suppose. I've been having this problem lately of feeling apathetic, which came out of nowhere and is largely responsible for my neglecting of things. But whatever, I'm here. I don't know how many people actually read this still, but I'm still going to update anyways.
What have I been up to when I haven't been feeling so apathetic? Well, work mostly. I've been working more hours mostly for the purpose of funding my never ending expenses of vacationing. The last year has taken a toll on my finances, so to keep up, I've picked up more hours. Things have been insanely busy at work, where we finally broke the magical number of 500. (We are populating an elementary school every month by the way). The hiring of new staff and education days for new equipment has also kept me busy and longing for my stretch of days off where I can escape somewhere.
Ah, yes....escaping. I like escaping. Some places were expensive, some were not. Some took months and months of planning, some only days. I've read on other blogs about how nurses develop an iron stomach and a warped sense of humor to cope with what they see and do in their profession. Me, I travel.
My willingness to pick up and go has been tested greatly within the last month or so. I have said goodbye to a lot of people as they have moved on to bigger and better things for their jobs, family, sanity, or just needing a change. I'm terrible at keeping myself within a budget though....I have already been out to Ottawa to see John, and I'm planning to visit Janita and Peter in London next year. Oops. Bah, whatever. Life's too short. Enjoy it while you can. I plan to celebrate two Thanksgivings this year.
Mmmm...pie.
I'm still alive
It's been a long time since I've written anything. Not like there's a lot that's new, as most of you who probably (hopefully) read this are also on FB, so you pretty much know what's been going on.
I'll update this thing anyways. I kinda feel obligated to, and besides...it allows me to procrastinate on my packing....
What's been happening since the last time I was on here? Vegas! I left for a glorious week to Sin City for some good times with friends and family. It was ridiculously hot, but the air conditioning, gallons of water, and margaritas helped. Yay yard dogs!!! Of course we indulged on the food too......
mmm Bouchon....Bellagio "brunch"...... *drool*
oops. But it wasn't just the food and drink that made for a great vacation. Some of the highlights include Bellagio fountains (of course), the Grand Canyon, Vagine, Tuesday's walk to the Stratosphere...sans drink...., breakfast with mom and grandma, Cirque du Solei, baby tigers...wow I could go on... We packed a lot of things into that week, but I still felt relaxed. I think the last couple of days with Jo and Eric helped, though. Good times.
Jo and Eric are currently in town, so of course we had to get together. This time it was for Thai food. Yummy! We headed back to Peter's afterwards for some beer tasting, midnight cooking, and all around fun. Hopefully I'll be able to see them again before they leave, but that depends on their schedule. And mine, I guess. I'm leaving tomorrow morning...Devin is taking me to Disneyland, so I'll be gone for the week. Hence the packing....yay! Maybe I should just live out of my suitcase...
Otherwise, I've been busy as per usual. Work is crazy. It's going well, but I'm still running off my feet every shift. Too many babies! I've also put my name in for a conference on bereavement in October. It supposedly is one of the best medical conferences in North America, and I've been told I have the sort of qualities that help families experiencing loss, so I signed up. Hopefully I'll find out soon if I can go.
That's about it for now, I guess. Meanwhile I must start packing.....
the best medicine
I've decided I need more laughter in my life. I think we all do, really. Every one's so serious nowadays, it's no fun. Don't you remember what it was like as a child and you laughed everyday? You laughed until your stomach or your face hurt. You laughed until tears came rolling down your tender cheeks. You laughed until you lost your voice. Being grown up has ruined all this. Now you're worried about laugh lines around your mouth and how to get rid of them. Or what about your mascara running? I guess you can't answer the phones at work if you can't speak.
No fun indeed.
So I wonder why we need to grow up at all? Ok, I'm not about to go and quit my job or anything, but I think it's time I had some more fun.
I might have been inspired by my recent vacation. I hardly did any shopping in the shopping capital of the world. Instead, I spent my m
oney having a good time doing other things. The memories and the laughter and the love. So much more rejuvenating than I realized at the time. For a while, I have felt that there was something missing in my life. I still don't have the answer, but I feel just that little more satisfied. And if this is something that makes me happy, why deny myself? I have found a way to allow a little more sunshine in my life. I might as well bask in it while I can.
While I find myself enjoying the sun, sunburn inevitably follows. My poor wallet. Within 10 days of getting back from New York, I found myself online looking at some flights. Again. I made a promise to Devin that if he gets his passport, we will travel somewhere together again. And so we are.
Well, I did decide to have more fun...didn't I? Oh, and I haven't yet mentioned the shopping trip. To Montana. Next week. Randomly. And I can't forget that I'm showing up at Jo and Eric's front door. For Thanksgiving. In November. Randomly.
But not all is about picking up and getting out of town. PRi and I forgot about our dinner as we stood around our fridge laughing at the magnets. A while ago I bought those puzzle magnets that you can rearrange words and phrases to make new ones. These were all movie phrases. Of course. I hope they bring at least a smile to your face....
- I picked the wrong week to make this conversation a failure to communicate
- If you build it they will call it a mission from God
- There's no place like all the gin joints in the morning!
- Frankly, my dear show me a Royale with cheese in Kansas and I'll be back
- I'm not going to be with you anymore Dave......bye.
- Well, no we don't need the force!
- What we've got here is stinking badges!
- You may refuse me and you have a damn nice night
- Mama says say hello to the pod bay doors
- You can't handle the money!
